Sunday 1 March 2009

discontentment...good or bad?

you see latelty i have been feeling rather discontent. i look at my life and im not really happy with the way it is. im not happy with how i spend my time. im not happy with how much time i waste. im not happy with the job i do. im not happy with how much i talk to others about God. im not happy about how much money i spend on myself. im not happy about the amount of time i spend on my own. i am unhappy about where i live.

but it is ok to be discontent with these things? because you see the reason i think i am discontent with these things is because i think God has more for me.
i think he wants me to be spending more time with him.
i think he wants me to spend less time procastinating.
i think he wants me to spend more time using the gifts and strengths he has given (which incidently i dont really do with my job)
i think he wants me to be a better example of him to those around me.
i think he wants me to remember how poor other people are and how i could be helping them way more than i do.
i think he wants to be building more friendships with people while im here instead of just relying on the ones i have.
i think he has somewhere else for me to be.

so maybe some discontent is ok...it means i will reach for more of God, more of things that are true of him. but then theres that line.... and maybe im about to cross it. the line from a healthy discontentment that forces your eyes on jesus, trusting that he holds everything in his hands, to that place where where you are never satisfied with anything, always wanting more. the grass is always greener syndrome. its a line i dont want to cross!
i just need to figure out how to do that!